Thats the way it started. The Christmas ham and turkey are gone. Now what am I going to eat? Ran out of my special coffee for the Keurig, so now I need something to get me going. So I need more repotting supplies and I ask my wife if she would like to go to the hobby store with me? Yes I would. That always scares me.
A trip to Starbucks to get my fix and we are at the hobby store by 11 AM. I search around for the large plastic latch hook canvas I use. They don’t carry it any longer. Crap, can this day get any worse. Need to go to Jo Ann’s Fabric store. First my wife has to buy 75.00 dollars worth of yarn to make scarves. She has about 30, but I don’t judge. It’s easy to count trees they are right out in the open. She hides the scarves.
Jo Ann’s is just down the street, my wife finds some regular plastic canvas that has very large holes. About 3/16 inch which will be perfect for the yards of drainage screen I will need for this years repotting. The sheets are double size (14×22). I buy six of them which is more than enough for what I need to do.
The day is young, I suggest we go across the street to the nursery. My motive is tainted. I’m looking for more bulb pans of terra cotta. My wife is looking at all the fricken roses that just came in. She walks the rows and rows of them. She must call out each name audibly and make me look at the colorful picture plastered on each pot. I say….”That one is nice honey. I like that”. Man I am really pouring it on. When you are a bonsai crazy man like me, this is the time one must put in to not feel guilty when you bring the next major purchase home that looks like a scarecrow. (keep that image handy, were getting there)
Finished looking at this nursery, so my wife suggests going to Willow Gardens nursery. This is a large nursery, but about 12 miles from where we are. Right now I want to go to another nursery like I want to buy a bottle of jock itch creme. All I want to do is go home, take a nap, sift four more bags of rocks and eat dinner.
Ok so at the nursery ( you knew I was going) we start by looking at all the Christmas crap marked down 50 percent that didn’t sell. This is the first saturday after Christmas and every ungratefull bozo is out and about returning stuff. The nursery is no different. My wife is busy looking at more roses and I catch a break when someone asks me the time. I can still hear my wife yelling out the names of each rose as I walk faster and faster. Soon I am out of earshot and I begin to take a look around.
The coral bark maples are really starting to scream now, the days are steady in the low 50’s and nights are in the high 30’s. The bark is almost glowing scarlet. I come around the corner and I hear angels and a glow radiating like the baby Jesus tucked in a manger. I move closer for a look and in a huge glazed Chinese pot is this tree. This thing looks a hundred years old. I move closer. Half the leaves are green and the other half is butter. It’s in transition. It is a Cotoneaster. About 30 inches tall with the most craggy bark I have ever seen on a shrub like this. The trunk is about 1 inch across with a base double that. The trunk forks at the base into two trunks. The one is full size and the other twists out at about 8 inches. At this point I am not fully sure what the sub trunk can do. Will it sprout this spring? I am not sure. The trunks has movement and at the top is a fireworks explosion of long foliage that scream literati. I am awestruck. Not many times in my life have I really wanted something so much.
I scampered to the sales office and inquired about the plant. I asked about the cotoneaster, you know the one that is thin and sickly looking. ( I figure what the hell I might as well run it down now as a sick plant, that always works). She asks…” you want the whole pot too”. No I am really interested in just the plant. She says OK I can pull it out. Wow, it never works like this. Now the scary part, I ask how much. I am prepared to pay around a hundred. That is what I feel they are going to ask. The nice lady looks at me and says “you can have it for $15.00″.
After the paramedics got me back on my feet I paid the nice lady and we went out to pull the plant out of the $225.00 dollar patio pot it was planted in. She did not have a pot big enough for it. The 5 gallon nursery container was too small. She asked if I would mind just taking it on a plastic flat. Thats what I did. Loaded it up and started for home.
Err…so I thought, After Subway for a quick bite then on to Bed Bath and Beyond. Still have to buy my special coffee. More people returning crap, no place to park, and all I want to do is go home and get this tree into some soil. Well we also made it to Barns and Noble book store to look at Nooks and then to Cost Plus to see if they had any after Christmas deals.
This is the time when a man must muster everthing he has inside to plaster on a smile and keep on keepin on. Up and down every aisle, holding hands and whispering how much I love her. Wholy crap my plant is dying in the car, I just know it, and she don’t care. We’re Shopping!
Finally we are going home. She asks, you a little hungry again? OK we stop for just a quick bite and then home.
It’s in the pot now, I can breathe easy. Now all I have to do is make it thru the night. I still havn’t seen this thing in the light of day since I bought it 10 hous ago.
“Where did I put all those books on Chinese Penjing”?